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Hambry is America's sharpest satirical news publication. Sharp coverage of tech, politics, culture, and corporate absurdity. The news, remastered
Tech
Your Phone Knows You Better Than Your Doctor, Study Finds
Leading Tech Companies Announce a Paradigm Shift, Prioritizing Engagement Metrics Over Those Pesky "Hippocratic Oath"...
Politics
Mexican Avocado Industry Reopens After U.s. Decides It Still Requires Guacamole
After U.s. Officials Determined American Brunch Needs Outweighed Minor "Security" Concerns, Mexico's Fruit Pickers Re...
Politics
China’s New Moon Map Helpfully Highlights Future Sovereign Territorial Claims
Beijing’s Advanced Lunar Cartography Standard Simplifies Future Extraterrestrial Land Disputes for Global Community.
Politics
Russia, Ukraine Neck-And-Neck in Record Civilian Casualties Race
Analysts Praise Commitment to Escalating Destruction, Ensuring Robust Quarterly Devastation Metrics.
Politics
UNESCO Prepares Seventh Formal Condemnation of Odesa Attacks, Eyes Next Quarter Review
The Global Body Assures Concerned Citizens That Another 'Strongly Worded' Statement Is in the Pipeline, Complete with...
Finance
Financier Defends 'Innovative Fee Structure' Designed to Simplify Retirees' Portfolios
Andrew Spaventa Asserts His 'Proprietary Wealth Reallocation Model' Merely Helped Clients Streamline Their Assets for...
Tech
Openai Rushes to Add 'Don't Murder Anyone' to Chatgpt's Core Programming
The Tech Giant Confirms New Safety Protocols Explicitly Forbidding AI From Assisting in Any Form of Family Tragedy, P...
Politics
Boebert Unveils New 'Family Morality Index' Based on Number of Arrests
The Groundbreaking Metric Will Allow Constituents to Accurately Gauge the Sanctity of a Politician’s Household in Rea...
Finance
Crypto Market Prepares for Quantum Apocalypse with 'Sell Everything' Migration
Industry Leaders Advise Investors Convert 'Digital Assets' Into Something Real, Like a Single Nickel or a Half-Eaten ...
Politics
Belgian Official Calls Jeweled Ring 'Essential' Part of Trade Strategy
Sources Close to the Administration Suggest More Nations Explore Gemstone Diplomacy for Economic Relief.
Finance
Costco Announces Tariff Refunds, Government Unveils ‘streamlined’ 17-Step Verification Process
The Warehouse Giant Will Reportedly Pass Savings Directly to Shoppers Who Can Accurately Recall Every Item Purchased ...
Corporate
Universities Desperate as Students Discover Youtube Tutorials Provide Better ROI Than $200k Degrees
Amid Plunging Enrollment, Higher Education Scrambles to Market 'Holistic Development' Against Free Online Courses Tha...
Trending Now
1
Politics
Boebert Unveils New 'Family Morality Index' Based on Number of Arrests
The Groundbreaking Metric Will Allow Constituents to Accurately Gauge the Sanctity of a Politician’s Household in Rea...
2
Tech
Your Phone Knows You Better Than Your Doctor, Study Finds
Leading Tech Companies Announce a Paradigm Shift, Prioritizing Engagement Metrics Over Those Pesky "Hippocratic Oath"...
3
Politics
Belgian Official Calls Jeweled Ring 'Essential' Part of Trade Strategy
Sources Close to the Administration Suggest More Nations Explore Gemstone Diplomacy for Economic Relief.
4
Finance
Costco Announces Tariff Refunds, Government Unveils ‘streamlined’ 17-Step Verification Process
The Warehouse Giant Will Reportedly Pass Savings Directly to Shoppers Who Can Accurately Recall Every Item Purchased ...
5
Politics
Spain Saves Royal Skeletons From Wildfire, Ensuring Future Generations Know Who’s in Charge.
Officials Confirm That While Property and Vegetation Are Fleeting, the Divine Right of Kings Is Eternal, Even in Part...
6
Lifestyle
Lemur Yoga Enthusiasts Demand Healthier Lemurs After Herpes Outbreak
Participants Express Disappointment That the Animals' Sudden Deaths Disrupted Their Inner Peace, Costing Hundreds in ...